Тяжело тебе одной, без мужика? - Морена
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Муж подруги укатил в командировку, оставив ее на две недели в гордом одиночестве. В куллере в его отсутствие кончилась вода, и пришлось вызывать доставку.

Дальше со слов подруги.

Внезапно в дверь вваливается усатый детина под два метра ростом, ставит воду и плюхается пятой точкой на табуретку прямо посередине кухни.

- Ну что, хозяйка, тяжело тебе одной, без мужика? – внезапно вопрошает посетитель. И не дождавшись ответа, продолжает сам с собой: - Тяжело!

- Полку прибить некому! Шкафчики вон, покосились. Ласки-то, поди, давно не было?! – с подозрением посмотрел он на ошалевшую женщину. – Давно, сам вижу…

- Ты, если что, не стесняйся! Обращайся, помогу, по мужской части! – продолжил он с плотоядной ухмылочкой.

Подруга опомнилась, резко выставила доставщика за дверь, и начала звонить нам – что это было?

У другой знакомой муж вошел в кризис среднего возраста и начал гулять. Не то, чтобы тихо погуливать, а прямо нагло пропадать из дома, появляться с новой пассией в общественных местах, и всякое такое прочее. Женщина, естественно, подала на развод, тем более что дети уже были самостоятельными. И вдруг она с удивлением почувствовала огромное облегчение.

- Ты знаешь, я встала утром, и поняла, что совершенно свободна. Я резала себе салат, приготовленный по всем заветам правильного питания, вместо жарки котлет. Я вымыла за собой только одну красивую фарфоровую тарелку, а не горку образовавшейся в мойке посуды. Я засыпала на тонких дорогих простынях, и никто не смотрел телевизор и не чавкал громко чипсами. Я была совершенно счастлива.

Женщина чувствовала себя полновластной хозяйкой квартиры (добрачная собственность), завела новых знакомых и даже мужчину «для души» и встреч 2 раза в неделю. Правда, съезжаться – ни с кем не съезжалась. Не хотелось уже, так понравилась ей свобода. Но вдруг на ее пороге появился бывший.

Что-то не заладилось у него с новой пассией, и хотя прошло уже три года, он чувствовал себя в полном праве вернуться к родным пенатам.

- Я вообще не понимаю, зачем ты подала на развод! – сказал он бывшей жене с обидой. -Ну, погулял бы я, да и вернулся. Подумаешь. Зато мужчина был бы в доме и муж в паспорте. А так вот теперь живешь одна, разведенкой. Никому не нужна.

Он никак не ожидал, что сцена «возращение блудных штанов» может с треском провалиться.

Еще один товарищ, бывший, допустим, одноклассник, узнал, что незамужняя подруга после нескольких лет жесткой экономии приобрела квартиру.
- Передай ей, что я невесту ищу! – сказал он с важностью. – Может быть, что-то у нас и получится.
- Хм. А почему твое желание жениться, да еще именно на ней, так странно совпало с приобретением жилья?
- Так, а чего тут думать? Я – мужчина, она – женщина, к тому же немолодая. Ей муж нужен, и есть, где жить.
- А если она тоже ищет кого-то с квартирой? – осторожно спросила я.
- Ты это не путай. Мужик это работник, а баба его деньги только на тряпки тратит. Так что мужичок и без квартиры может быть…

Вот я думаю – откуда эта замутненная уверенность в необходимости штанов? Не любимого человека, не партнера, не любовника, а просто штанов? Все равно каких, лишь были?


Мои соцсети:

promo morena_morana ноябрь 30, 15:00 183
Buy for 500 tokens
«Время мужчин, забивающих мамонтов, прошло. Больше никто ничего не решит за вас. Не будет ПАПИКОВ, мужчин - «каменных стен», олигархов, спускающихся с неба на вертолете и одаривающих дорогими подарками. Мы все давно выросли». Такими словами я начала свою книгу, которая…

Comments

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happy_star
Jul. 9th, 2018 02:15 am (UTC)
Вооот! Именно об этом я пост ещё вчера написала! Без штанов в доме - гораздо лучше некоторым.:))
krajn
Jul. 9th, 2018 02:21 am (UTC)
Лесбиянкам?
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marysya88
Jul. 9th, 2018 02:24 am (UTC)

А по первому пункту надо было в доставку позвонить и жалобу накатать на этого наглого доставщика.

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Татьяна Котляр
Jul. 9th, 2018 05:23 am (UTC)
В такой интерпретации здесь еще не звучало.)))))) интересно, что местные мачо скажут
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nazareth_stv
Jul. 9th, 2018 02:41 am (UTC)
Откуда такая уверенность?? Да от закомплексованных мужиков и страшных полностью асексуальных женщин... ну еще и от того что в первой половине 20 века до 53 года в России погибло очень много реально настоящих мужчин
Geroge Serkov
Jul. 9th, 2018 04:17 am (UTC)
А что случилось в 53.
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enasiwa
Jul. 9th, 2018 02:57 am (UTC)
Человек с кулером насмотрелся сериал "Интерны". Там интерн Лёша, подрабатывая сантехником "помогал" женщинам )))))
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wendeline_fog
Jul. 9th, 2018 06:49 am (UTC)
м (4).jpg
lheujq321
Jul. 9th, 2018 03:01 am (UTC)
Ох, блять... опять двадцать пять... "Я сама". Оскомину еще не набило?

Чего ж вы, бабье, тогда так замуж стремитесь? Кратно сильнее, чем мужики? Ну и жили бы тогда одни, свободные.
morena_morana
Jul. 9th, 2018 03:02 am (UTC)
Замуж стремятся за кого угодно, или за кого-то конкретного? первое - извращение явное
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sasha_severny
Jul. 9th, 2018 03:09 am (UTC)
А тебе принца надо? Как говорила Царевна-Лягушка: "Принца можно всю жизнь ждать, а мужик каждый день нужен."

Inei
Jul. 9th, 2018 05:02 am (UTC)
Это женщина каждый день нужна - щи-борщи, туда-сюда. А мужик полочку раз в полгода прибил и свободен.
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sunny_yuri
Jul. 9th, 2018 03:13 am (UTC)
Мужики разные бывают!
Как и женщины...
У хорошего мужика - женщина всегда идеальная,
как и наоборот!
girkotik
Jul. 9th, 2018 03:45 am (UTC)
Эту истину вы выстрелили в пустоту. Что бы ее понять нужен мозг и/или большой житейский опыт.
А в большинстве своем, ходят по улицам груди, носят их женские люди и больше ничего. Если кому-то нужны только штаны, то она найдет того, кому нужны только сиськи и дырка.
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sos_cuisine
Jul. 9th, 2018 03:31 am (UTC)
Как говорил один мой знакомый (у которого реально кроме штанов ничего не было, ни работы, ни жилья) "а я ничего так! Не бухаю!"

И ко мне шары подкатывал. Спасибо за такое счастье. Я уж как нибудь сама. В своем жилье и со своей работой. И на бухло даже остается. ))
lidia_mosca
Jul. 9th, 2018 04:52 am (UTC)
У нас на работе один кадр работал. Сидел вместе с тремя фигурными девами, красотками. Так вот, девы как-то разговорились и выяснилось, что он ко всем трем подкатывал, хотя сам нищий и гугнивый. А девы были с богатыми любовниками (свободными, не женатыми), но официально незамужние, вот он и считал себя их спасителем ))
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livejournal
Jul. 9th, 2018 03:33 am (UTC)
Здравствуйте!
Ваша запись попала в топ-25 популярных записей LiveJournal. Подробнее о рейтинге читайте в Справке.
livejournal
Jul. 9th, 2018 03:33 am (UTC)
Здравствуйте! Ваша запись попала в топ-25 популярных записей LiveJournal России! Подробнее о рейтинге читайте в Справке.
prischelech
Jul. 9th, 2018 04:08 am (UTC)
Похоже на письма из средневековья. Уже давно квартиры убирают пылесосы, стирают машины, посуду моют комбайны, а приготовление пищи заключается в включении таймера.
pavel2107
Jul. 9th, 2018 04:29 am (UTC)
Женщины в это не верят, хотя стиралками пользуются.
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(no subject) - prischelech - Jul. 9th, 2018 03:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kwintina - Jul. 9th, 2018 05:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - prischelech - Jul. 9th, 2018 05:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - prischelech - Jul. 9th, 2018 03:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kwintina - Jul. 9th, 2018 05:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - prischelech - Jul. 9th, 2018 05:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kwintina - Jul. 9th, 2018 05:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - prischelech - Jul. 9th, 2018 05:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mauglivgorode - Jul. 9th, 2018 06:30 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - Inei - Jul. 9th, 2018 08:11 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - prischelech - Jul. 9th, 2018 03:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
p_rzhevsky
Jul. 9th, 2018 04:17 am (UTC)
Раньше быт был трудоемкий. Поэтому нужны были бабам мужики - полку прибить, отремонтировать что-либо, принести что-то тяжелое. А мужикам были нужны бабы, т.к. они делали большую часть работы по дому. Сейчас быт автоматизирован. Любую бытовую вещь можно купить за доступную цену. Поэтому прежней необходимости наличия в доме штанов или юбки нет. А установки старые в голове живут.
vento_di_fiori
Jul. 9th, 2018 12:42 pm (UTC)
Вот тут полностью согласна.
mona_cenia
Jul. 9th, 2018 04:20 am (UTC)
Посмеялась над первым случаем))) долго жила одна и почему-то все приходящие рабочие считали своим долгом меня пожалеть)))
wendeline_fog
Jul. 9th, 2018 06:52 am (UTC)
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